Letters to Love: What Happens After The Last Chapter?

Hola cupcakes,

So we have all read story books and novels. Some have a happy ending, while others leave us with bad taste in mouth. Today I would like to draw an analogy between real-life endings and not-so-real life endings.



In most stories, there is someone who gains while someone who loses. A hero and a villain. However, I feel like in life, we often switch positions. A person who is good in one story may turn out to be a villain in another. Different phases, different experiences of life bring forth different roles for us. Somehow, today I feel like a villain (*please excuse gender for ease*).

But then comes the question, who is a villain? A bad person? A person who brings pain to someone else? A person who suffers from the evils of hatred, envy and so on? A person who is hated? Actually, I'm not sure. Then on what grounds do I have that feeling?

Have you noticed that in fairy tales, the villain always loses? They lose everything that is dear to them no matter how hard they try to claim it. As if being struck by Karma!


Well, a similar feeling. I feel like I have lost  the most precious thing to me, even though I tried so hard not to lose it. I fought, I reasoned, I fought again, but in vain. It is something about losing that makes us feel inferior.

So what did I lose?

I have lost the most meaningful thing in my life. I have lost some of my most cherished friendships. The worst part of it being that I lost them to another equally significant emotion, of Love. But somehow I don't regret losing love as much as I regret losing friendship. It might be because I have never really believed in love, never in my life.

Love is revered as the most precious choice. I choose to love you. I choose to not love you. The reasons of love maybe known or unknown to a person. But those words have the power to wreak havoc. My dilemma is the strong interconnection between love, friendship and trust.

It starts with friendship. Friendship forms the basis for trust to grow, which becomes the heavenly breeding spot for love. But if love comes, then it never leaves empty-handed. It takes both trust and friendship away, and all one is left with, is a feeling of blankness. A feeling of loss. The loss of, not one but three significant feelings, can leave a person feeling empty inside. It is harder to deal with than one can imagine.

So how does one deal with it? In a healthy manner? Without hurting anyone? I tried to save friendship but by the time I reached, only the ashes of a burning friendship remained. An empty room that only had memories of the dead.

One can't live in the house of the dead. One can't live of ashes. So what does one do with a blank canvas that is sullied beyond repair? Burn it?

Maybe that is why I feel like a villain today. After the last chapter has ended. After everyone got their share of happy endings, I stay in the shadows with the empty canvases sullied with memories of the past.


On this cold night, after the last chapter, I stay back. I stay back with all the sullied canvases. I stay back with a wild fire tonight. After the last chapter has ended, after the curtains have been closed. I stay back to burn all memories, to burn all the pain.

May the warmth of this dreadful night paint a better morning tomorrow. Hoping for a better story where I won't be the one to burn the canvases after the last chapter.

xx
Ruhie

Pic Courtesy: 123

6 comments:

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  2. Hey Ruhie,

    It's really good to see that my comment made you day. Being an avid reader of your blog from a long time, I have seen so many ups and downs in your posts. I literally love the way how you transform those words into pure feelings. Those emotions, with surreal vividness, linger in my mind long after I read your posts.

    Reading your posts gives a sense of being on a roller coaster of ecstasy and agony. Every time when I finish reading any new post of yours, it always leave me with somewhat sweet bitter taste, just like a Dark Chocolate. However from last few posts and especially this one "Letters to Love" section, instead of being sweet - bitter, these are like all sour and bitter only.

    I felt a great disturbance in the force, when I read those "Letters", which compels me to come up front and write that previous comment. You already know how quicker, easier, and seductive the Dark force is. I just can't let my favorite blog author to go rolling in the deep despair. I know once in a while we all lose hope and we need just someone to say "Everything Okay". Hence that comment, I've posted to again firing up the HOPE. I really feel happy that you are not giving in and fighting back. I like it that you still believe in "Hope for a better day".

    Now regarding whether I know you or not, it shouldn't be any concern for a person who herself writing under a pen name. So consider it just a fair game ;)

    Therefore I also request you Miss Sherlock, please don't try to apply any science of deduction on it. I'm well aware with your talent of observation, also evident here, as how quickly you found out my intuitive nature. Even I didn't know that till I had taken the Myers-Briggs test :D

    Though your cunning observation, damn got it right, with just those few lines of my comment. Impressive!!

    But I think you did one mistake, engaging me in a debate. Well I really don't like proving others wrong, but my OCD factor won't let me quit too, once getting invitation for a debate

    Now this debate will gonna end only when, either you have to lose the debate or accept my argument wins. Excelling in philosophical intelligent debate is second nature to me. (Bad habit won't go easily)

    Now coming to the argument of debate, if I am right this is the position in question for critical analysis:
    [The conflict between romantic love and friendship. When one extends their hand in friendship, but the other extends it with romantic feelings. What happens then? Will love convert into friendship or the other way around? If neither do, then both burn.]

    And in the above argument consider the Love as - the romantic love only (a.k.a. ishq wala love). So wait for my next comment let me do the math and apply the science to get you the answer. See you in my next super long comment.

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  3. Ohh shit!! What the heck?
    Previous comments are deleted, without notification :/

    Seems like you changed your mind. DEBATE OVER?
    Please either enable old comments or remove the above one too, don't want to sound like I am talking to myself here :P

    Peace Out,
    Zero :)

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  4. *Deleted Comment from Zero*

    Hey Ruhie,

    I may not understand what exactly you have lost; but I can certainly sense that you are loosing one thing for sure: the most important essence of life - "HOPE".

    Also your theory of Love, Friendship and Trust has some critical flaws:
    "It starts with friendship.... all one is left with, is a feeling of blankness."

    You're right that it starts with Friendship but have you considered other dynamic variables too, while generalizing the theory. First of all Friendship and Love are not 2 different things. Friendship when new need its own kind of water and soil to grow healthy and strong. This water and soil is none other than the trust and mutual understanding. While Love is just the fruit of Friendship, when friendship matures enough, it start turning into Love. More the trust you put in, deeper the roots of friendship goes and stronger the bond of Love develops. Thus, True Friendship keep on getting stronger and stronger day-by-day till, all the distinction between friendship and True Love is totally blurred out.

    Hence if "love is true" then it can't be burned or turned into ashes, it will always remain there deep inside the seed of friendship, all what you need is serious efforts and enough time to again make those roots stronger. Just pour into your trust and faith, soon you will realize that the faded flowers of friendship start blossoming once again.

    However as far as concern the conversion of friendship into Love is a very complex process, so don't worry about it. Your control is only on providing the nutrients and creating a suitable habitat for the flower to grow. Leave further tasks on time and destiny.

    You may wonder if you leave to destiny how you come you know that this flower is turned into the fruit? Well when the times comes it will and you know it by yourself.

    "Because when you're in love,
    you strive to become better than you are.
    When you strive to become better than you are,
    everything around you becomes better too. "

    Even your favorite author has said that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure. So don't settle and keep looking for the signs of universe to find that treasure.

    When you think all is lost, when all is dire and bleak, there is always hope.
    But when you have lost hope, you have lost everything.
    So never ever lose the "HOPE".

    And believe me every story has a happy ending.
    (I bet even GOT will have the happy ending in its last season :D)

    So if you feel it's not a happy ending
    then it's certainly not the last chapter of Your Story. Peace Out.

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  5. Hey Zero,

    Thanks for the comment :D Finally a viewer that decides to come upfront and have a chat! I really appreciate it. Your comment made my day, mostly because it was an intelligent one, a well-thought out one.

    Since you already know my fav author, I'm guessing you do know me, personally. My favorite author isn't a much published fact about me. And if you know me and you still wish to talk through a pseudo name, it's alright.

    Intelligent conversations are rare to come by, so please don't mind if I engage you in a debate of sorts.

    I feel you are highly intuitive when you say that I have lost Hope. I have given it much thought and although it's a significant emotion to me, I can't deny that I do feel a dearth of it. But I'm not completely giving in to you either ;)

    Because I might have lost hope on some people, some emotions and maybe some areas of my life, I haven't lost hope completely. It still drives me everyday.

    Also I beg to differ when you say that love and friendship are not two different things. Maybe you are the one not taking other dynamic variables such as lust, betrayal, envy, jealousy etc into consideration. Neither love nor friendship is unaffected by these emotions. But my point being that both are affected differently, which proves that love and friendship are not the same thing. Jealousy in friendship might have a different outcome but jealousy in love might have a totally diff. result.

    Moreover, the fact that platonic relations exist prove that love and friendship can be separated (Please bear in mind I'm not talking about universal love. I'm specifically talking about romantic love, even in my post).

    You are right when you say both need trust and mutual understanding to grow. Yes more the friendship, more the love. But that love is different (Again stressing that we are not talking about universal love - love we eventually feel for anything after we spend time with it; person, place, animal or thing).

    My post talks about the conflict between romantic love and friendship. When one extends their hand in friendship, but the other extends it with romantic feelings. What happens then? Will love convert into friendship or the other way around? If neither do, then both burn. And if they don't, we all know that HOPE played its role there :)

    And as I said, you are right in guessing that HOPE was lost. That is the very reason, in this story, canvases were burnt, curtains closed and memories burnt with all the pain. The end is not always bad my friend. It's an opportunity to write a new story - now that's hope for a better future :)

    Thanks again for the lovely comment.
    xx
    Ruhie

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